They say chances on the outside are looking pretty slim. I feel so lucky on the inside! I feel I’m gonna win – Thin Lizzy

Welcome once again to the esteemed competition that is Merc’s G1 Tipping Comp. Our ninth year!

Firstly, we need to acknowledge Worm as the 2022 Golden Pony.  A dramatic end to the season where other front runners either failed to fire a shot on the final day or stuffed up their staking strategy (poor Sim), Worm managed to hold his nerve (despite losing money). I and other past winners welcome him. 

Let us review some of the “highlights” since the last campaign, both across the industry and from our merry band of degenerative reprobates within the competition:

  • An unspecified group member only known as Footlong Meatball elevated himself to undeniable GOAT status by getting sucked off in an alley behind a Foodland, with the chick handing over her phone and asking him to film it. If you squint, you can see her engagement ring. Footlong Meatball is not the fiancé.  
  • Anamoe provides inspiration to us all by winning everything, retiring early and seeing out his days knocking the back out of the best horse pussy (hussy?) out there.
  • Mills asked “how bloody good is the ‘Bool?” and got torched. 
  • The vacuous bint had a spill, mashed her brain, recovered, then proceeded to mash it again with some low grade blow left over from that day’s greyhound training. 
  • Damo posted a hot tip in the group chat and it was an absolute stinker. Mortgage payments were missed, parents couldn’t afford to buy their kids birthday presents, financial ruin was broadly felt by many.  
  • Bella got made redundant, then was surprised when she turned on the tv to see Plain Jane had taken her spot. 
  • TB got a 12-month holiday for taking dick pics in the jockey’s room. This might not be 100% correct, but it might not be 100% wrong either. 
  • Sim got his Betfair vest. 
  • The quality of some of the thirst traps posted in the group chat was excellent. I went to the Grace Hayden well a few times but would get distracted thinking about her old man’s 380, that was a great dig. 
    • Sub-point on cricketer’s daughters: I don’t give a shit if that chick in that video wasn’t JLs daughter, the body was elite. Wood chop Brook Warne too. 

I’m not overly concerned about the blow aspect in the latest J Kah thing, we need to congratulate drugs for winning the war on drugs. And while the kids will continue to want what they want, our local friendly American motorcycle enthusiasts and/or Prada bum bag wearing uleh’s from the red zone will make sure they get it. But I’m curious as to the thought process (or lack thereof) behind the constant cycle of drama. Let’s do a quick recap and look to the future. 

  • Misses an entire spring carnival when she was at the peak of her powers
  • Returns triumphant
  • Had a nasty fall that might have stopped her riding ever again
  • Returns triumphant
  • Proceeds to fraternise with a greyhound trainer
  • Returns triumphant – for the first race of the G1 Tipping Season

Probably the least savoury of the dramas to this point is being seen with a dog trainer bit. You just know. And when that video surfaces I won’t be surprised, I’ll simply sigh and watch on with the most awkward boner ever. 

We turn to 2023 and the big announcements. 

  1. Firstly, let’s remind ourselves of the rules
  2. Entry fee will remain at $55! Login as usual and check your account details to pay up. Some of you have already been prompted to do this. New tipsters can sign up here
  3. Cash prizes will be determined once we have final numbers. Last year we had 51 tipsters, so let’s try to boost that over 60. Last year the winner took home $1000. Tell all your mates.
  4. The Management Team has shown real leadership and pared back the calendar to only feature Group 1s and anything else that the Supreme Leader of RNSW deems worthy of a million. No dog races, no country cups, no exotics, no bullshit. This campaign will be a genuine test of punting skill. View the full tipping calendar here
  5. The Captain Consistency and Cup Week Hero awards will remain. But the Country Cup King has been sent to the knackery.
  6. Another point of note is the comp will run a week longer than it has in the past to allow for a more fulsome prosecution of views prior to voting in the All That Is Great About Women In A Respectful, Considered and Non-Objective Way Poll (naming and genuine intent of this poll subject to change).
  7. A rather large and potentially controversial change is that we will be using BSP (Betfair Starting Price) rather than top tote to determine winnings; as an extension I hear rumour of some winners’ merch but don’t bitch to management when that inevitably fails to materialise. BSP will not include your state’s commission.
  8. You can now only submit a maximum of four tips totalling $100. Hardly anyone used to submit five, and the admin involved for the extra tip wasn’t worth it.
  9. There’s also a tentative group track day being planned, stay tuned for details. And let’s not forget the group chat, where ignorance is no barrier to sharing an opinion, no matter how retarded. Please email to get added to the chat.
  10. I’ve probably forgotten some stuff, but Merc will send reminder emails each week to submit tips. Everything else can be found on the website, including where to submit tips.

So, who wins the 2023 Golden Pony? History suggests it is unlikely Worm goes back-to-back, but who would dare write him off after his imperious 2022? Does Rodda win an unprecedented 4th comp? Does Hill break free from the shackles of the dreaded *? The Cat claims he has elevated as a punter, does he take the honours? There’s a heap of blokes yet to break their maidens here, is there a dark horse? Is there a special guest Betfair tipster? Time will tell…

Yours in punting. 

NATO (and G1 Admin)

Categories: Results


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